FAILED. oh well, the least expected of the unexpected happened. up till now i am still unable to accept the fact that i was so kindly awarded with an immediate failure and 34 demerit points. 34 you know. i was so distraught and speechless when i saw my results. and afterwhich i just went somewhere and broke down. i haven't gotten this much before during my practice sessions. oh yeah, and i got a remark from him saying that my driving is no good. i can dare say that it's no good largely because of you, you know. firstly, unlike the other testers, you did not even tell me what my test route was until we were halfway going down the staircase then you just briefly tell me that i'm on route 1. secondly, you were being so impatient and kept asking me to get the car moving like as if i don't know how to. thirdly, you kept changing the route to the courses just because you don't want to wait for other cars. as a result of your last minute changes, i did not have time to complete my safety check before moving off and there you are marking me down on this. lastly, which is the worst, you yourself kept asking me to make left turns/move the car/don't stop there and then you mark me down because i fail to wait for other cars to move off before turning -__- i already knew the gap between my car and the other person's will be damn close when i turn out but you kept asking me to go go go. ya i go lah, then i mount kerb lah. and all you said was "mount kerb." i knew it was an immediate failure but i tried to do my best in the other areas. i still held on to a string of hope cos i felt i did okay for the road test. instead, you gave me comments like "you didn't accelerate enough to 60km/h on the 70km/h road". hell like i don't know how to accelerate like that. twice, there were cars in front of me which were driving below that speed and how can you expect me to go faster when i'm supposed to also keep a safe following distance? then you minus 8 more points cos i beat an amber light. please the car is so close to the stop line that even if i tried to stop, the car will be on the stop line and then you'll mark me down again. damn ZZZ can. i felt so damn yuan wang. at first when i didn't know you will be so unreasonable and niao that you'll minus so many points for me, i still wanted to negotiate with you about my mounting kerb part. but when i saw the paper and saw how many demerit points you gave me, i gave up immediately. and i wasn't really paying attention to you when you were telling me my mistakes. like i don't know. you were the one who made me make those mistakes! except for a few which i knew i did wrongly myself. but i'm sure they won't cost so many points. HAIII. my warm-up session was really alright. the warm-up instructor still said i looked very cool and calm, which is very unusual of the testees. then of so many testers, i so suay tio this freaking niao, sensitive and impatient old man who didn't even give me any form of encouragement after telling me i failed and just walked away. i refused to thank him. hurr. i think my other option at that time must be to get struck by lightning. both ways, i will die. nevermind i will not give up so easily but i will not accept the fact, that fact. there are just too many opportunity costs wasted. i cabbed all the way there cos of the heavy rain for a freaking 39 bucks. and i've wasted a day's pay. i've also wasted my time, my effort and my tears (can you believe three ah peks were staring at me when i was tearing on a bench opposite them under a hdb flat. they must have thought that i'm some emo kid who wants to end my life soon or something.). and lastly i've wasted money spent on the rebooked test fees and also the compulsory revision practices. i just learn one thing lah. being kiasu will not get you whatever you want. whats the point of booking so many revision practices when during the test, you get this i-seriously-dunno-how-to-describe tester who just marks you down on mistakes which he caused you to make. i know i sound like a freaking loser but i think if you were me, you would have felt the same too. i've really never felt so yuan wang in my entire life before. oh well. i shall let this pass man. i'm just worried over how to face my instructors when they see me again for the revision practices. it'll be so damn embarrassing. i know they all expected me to pass. haiz. LIFE's never fair, isn't it?

but, on a happier note, i passed my circuit evaluation for bike today. i think heaven wants to help me get up on my feet again. i almost didn't want to go for the bike lesson cos my eyes were so puffed up and my face looked damn blank, emotionless in other words. luckily i passed this. i thought i'll fail again cos i changed lane at the bend. distracted from just now already ma. but it was a just-pass. i got 12 demerit points zhun zhun. phew. met this guy called joshua who's quite nice and chatty. i was in exactly the same session as him when we failed this subject previously. and actually what made me wanna get over what happened is partly because he went for this subject seven times already and still has not passed yet. but he said he's not gonna give up. he failed today again. i passed. but i felt bad cos i made him make the lane-change-at-the-bend mistake =X he was behind me and he just followed whatever i did. argh. hope he'll pass soon. i should learn from his never-give-up attitude.

just as i was feeling ABIT better after my bike lesson and applying for my PDL, the dentist called and told me about the total cost of the retainers and all. guess how much. if you'd guessed a few hundred dollars, then you're damn wrong man. it's a freaking (fucking) $1700! i don't know how am i gonna tell my parents about this. i know very well that my dad will scream at me and ask me to stop going to the clinic forever. he already refused to pay for any of my dental fees after last month's session. as for my mum, i'm sure she'll just call up the dentist immediately and scold them. for your information, she was the one who called them and wanted them to calculate the total cost of my retainers for her first. oh well, then i'll just be sandwiched in between. most probably i'll end up paying everything myself. i'm such a stupid kid. so much money is wasted on me. i keep failing my bike subjects and i just failed my practical test today. and now this thing is gonna burn a hole in their pockets again (if they'd ever be willing to pay for me). i should just cease to exist from this world lah. spend money on me also no use one. sorry i'm back to my pessimistic side again..

oh well, i think i just need to take a good rest. today really sucked =X i hope i can at least forget abit of whatever that had happened today when i wake up tomorrow. and please not let any thing like this happen to me anytime soon. i already reached the end of the cliff just now. i don't wanna go back there again.

HAHA hi i'm back to blog again. one of the reasons why i took so long to update is because i'm just too lazy to sign in. everytime have to key in my email add and password which is rather annoying. and the 'remember me' thingy doesn't seem to work. oh well, i'm supposed to be in bed now but i shall wait for my mum to fall asleep first. shall not go in and get scolded or nagged at again.

ANYWAY, life is still boring and monotonous as usual. it's just that many things, especially stupid ones, happened to me. i think it was last week or something, i was so accident-prone at A clinic. that zuo ding trolley caused me to banged its handle twice, once on my hip and the other at my _____ (censored). lol. and it's not just a small knock okay. i don't know why but i just rammed myself into it and it's damn painful i tell you. and while i was highlighting the next day's trolley after that, i stupidly/dumbly/foolishly/silly-ly or whatever you wanna call it, knocked my forehead onto one of the shelves -___- and it was just above my eyebrow. it was such a hard knock that i suffered a momentary blindness, as in i could see stars. i bet the patients who were sitting in front of me laughed at me or something lo. ZZZ. and afterwhich i got a ba-lu-gu at that spot which took me three days to heal completely. i bet i'd lost a few thousand brain cells as a result too. WOAH really can't believe myself. i guess the word "CLUMSY" will live with me forever until the day i die. and maybe it'll be due to my clumsiness again. HAHA. oh well.. and just today, i freakingly forgot my PIN number!!! it was when i was about to transfer some money to jo's account that my mind suddenly blanked out. i stoned there for a few seconds trying to remember the number. in the end the queue behind forced me to press the cancel button and leave, embarrassed. woah thanks man. i dunno what can i do now to help myself remember those six numbers! hopefully i can suddenly remember them again tomorrow. like how ru suddenly remembered that next heaven song, after singing the next sunrise song as the tune for so many times. HAHAHA.

tomorrow will be my last practical lesson before my test. i better take it seriously then! today the instructor told me that i am abit reckless cos sometimes i will suddenly jam on the brakes. haha yah i admit i can be quite impatient at times.. and this also explains why i get so pek chek while teaching my cousin everytime. i was trying to teach her fractions and when she couldn't understand what i was saying after i've explained a few times, i'd raise my voice and get damn impatient. lol zzz i better change this bad habit of mine. but sometimes it's really not my fault cos kids' attention span is damn short and it's get rather irritating when your kid just keeps moving up and down and all over the place!

OKAY zzz i suddenly don't feel like blogging anymore. shall go back and play my mafia wars. HAHAHA.

Okay I have nothing to do now.. pet society's down for maintenance and I have nothing to do in farm town already. LOL. Anyway, have been really slack these two days during work, especially in the afternoon. I think I managed to use the com for at least 45mins in total? Or maybe even more than that. Lucky they are nice enough to let me use the com. But I still feel abit guilty cos I'm not used to having nothing to do at all! Maybe someone already saw my slackness and can't wait to kick me back to the busiest clinics again. Haha. Nvm at least I feel happy to be slacker. Haha. Two more days to a longer weekend! Yay haha.

There is really something wrong with the internet. Damn fking irritated with it. It wasn't like that last time. And the computer's slowing down too. How I wish i could reformat it without losing all my data. ARGHH bloody pissed with this damn machine. SHOW ME THE 'THE PAGE CANNOT BE DISPLAYED' SCREEN AGAIN AND I WILL SHUT THIS WHOLE DAMN THING OFF IMMEDIATELY.

Aye sorry just being crazy.


Anyway, HOW CAN THE WEEKENDS PASS SO QUICKLY?! I didn't even feel that I've relaxed at all in any way. I shall not blame in on my driving lessons cos i really need to practise more before the real test. And it's nearing very quickly! About two weeks more and I will be facing my doomsday. Okay I shall not be so pessimistic cos I really hope that I can pass! Even though the instructor told me that I can actually cancel one or two of my revision lessons cos he feels that I am quite stable already, but I myself still feel rather uneasy. I mean yes I know all the requirements already, but there is always the case of carelessness or what they call "suayness" during the real test. Maybe I'll suddenly get damn nervous and drive over the kerb accidentally or maybe I'll stop on the yellow box or something (which never really happened before during my practice lessons). That will be an immediate failure and I'll really hate myself for that man. Okay touch wood. That better not happen! =X Haha.


Anyway, today started off with me 'jumping' off the bed cos i overslept by one hour from my alarm time! I really didn't hear the alarm or rather I subconsciously pressed on the SWITCH OFF ALARM button. Luckily I could still rush in time for my riding lesson. And, I was shocked when the instructor told us that today's lesson is gonna be on pillion riding! I had already prepared myself for the supposedly U-turns and circuit revision. And I thought I can worry about pillion riding the next lesson or something. Who knows they changed the courses and now I am staring at three guys who are in the same lesson as me. I really don't know how to pillion someone and the worse thing is I have to malu myself and pillion with a guy -_- Previously when the instructors pillion me, I already felt quite paiseh already cos I have to sit that close to them and with my hands on their shoulders. If the person's a female then I practically have to hug her already -_- Lol. And so the instructor allocated me to this guy whom I thought was a malay at first. Then he started speaking mandarin to him and I was like errs okay.. He pillioned me first. And the funny thing was, when I was trying to get up on the bike behind him, he sort of lost his balance and had to quickly regain it back. Then when I sat behind him, he asked me in mandarin "Are you very heavy?" And I was like erm not really.. HAHA. I thought I had better not scare him if I answered him otherwise. Later he get nervous and cannot ride properly, then I will suffer too! LOL. During the beginning he was quite unstable and I was abit scared that I will fall off. So I gripped his shoulders a little tighter =X erps. You know the feeling is really damn awkward can! The other pair were like chatting happily all along then ours was like silence.. Then halfway he suddenly popped this question to me asking if this is my first time I am being pillioned. And I said yes cos it's the FIRST time I felt so nervous and scared sitting behind. Usually when I'm on my dad's bike, I can practically do whatever I want.. eating, sms-ing or even sleeping -_- And my hands don't even hold onto anything unless I really feel like falling. Haha. Very big difference ehh. Anyway, back to the story. Lol. When it was my turn to pillion him, I was still very nervous. The instructor saw my face and he told me to relax. HAHA. And I bet that guy must have felt awkward too cos he's like sitting rather far from me when the actual thing is that we must sit as close to each other as possible so that it's easier to balance. I very much wanted to tell him to sit closer but it was really damn malu, so I just tried to move off hoping that I will not lose my balance and fall. Haha. Riding with a pillion was okay. It's just that when the bike is stationary, my leg is too weak to support the weight of the bike plus the extra weight of the person behind. And I almost lost my balance a few times. HAHA. But it's quite fun to pillion people lah. Hopefully no one would say they don't want to be pillioned by me after reading my stupid story. Haha. Anyway, I should be worried about the next lesson cos I will have to pillion a person and go through ALL the courses including my most afraid E-brake and the figure-8 course! Damn I better not lose my balance and fall off man. If I fall down myself nevermind lah. But if I make people fall down with me then it's not okay already. Haha. And then I also have to worry who will my pillion be next time. Urghh. I hope there will be a female one. So that I will not feel that malu if I have to ask her to sit closer to me. Haha.


ERPPP work's starting tomorrow again. Am really dreading it cos I really do not feel that I've rested enough. Just hope that all goes well again. Till then, I shall prepare to sleep soon, lest I feel sleepy or something tomorrow again. Haha.

I HAVE NO LIFE.

i hereby confirm that... my ears are not one up one down okay!! zzz the spectacles shop woman kept insisting that they are. cos my specs are one up one down and i wanted to go there to fix it but it didnt help at all. now i feel rather uncomfortable wearing them. and i know whats the problem already.. she was adjusting the wrong thing all along. i didnt have any problem with my previous specs k! zz haha. okay two more days before the weekends again! time really passes quickly when we go to work.. we were just eating at NYNY and celebrating ru's bday last week. so i believe that the three months will pass quickly too. i already survived two, so what's three more man. HAHA.